Getting Clucked and Shucked
Plus Ball & Chain is featured on 90 Day Fiance and a Dog With No Name is waiting for you
This is Miami’s Best Chicken Sandwich — Fight Me
Miami has dozens of places to plunk down your Amex Centurion card. Want a steak in a briefcase? There’s a restaurant for that. Interested in ten thousand courses of sushi? Miami’s got you covered.
But here’s the real question: When you’re hungry and you’ve had a long week and need something that just tastes good (and maybe doesn’t cost a car payment or two), what do you want? For me, it’s a bowl of pasta. Or even better — a chicken sandwich and a beer.
And there is no place in Miami where you can get a better chicken sandwich than Off Site.
Partners Adam Darnell and Steve Santana met when Santana fried up chicken sandwiches on weekends at Darnell’s excellent Wynwood beer bar, Boxelder. Santana is, of course, a genius when it comes to making food that’s delectable and affordable as evidenced at his taco emporium, Taquiza.
Though Off Site is now brewing its Super Good Lager on site, I like its curated list of taps — there’s always an interesting IPA or two for the choosing.
I like to start things off with a fish dip. For some reason, I am addicted to the combination of smoked fish and mayonnaise that fish dip affords me. My only note for Off Site is to add some crudite to the fish dip — my favorite is pairing my fish with veggies rather than chips. Here, you scoop the fish with tortilla chips (which makes sense given Santana’s tortilla background). The dip is that perfect balance between smoky and creamy and is a great foil for your first beer (you’ll have a second before the evening wears out).
Now for the chicken sandwich — fried chicken thighs arrive golden and steaming hot on a sesame bun with lettuce, pickles, and a creamy housemade sauce. It’s a pretty perfect sandwich (though I wish to whatever powers that might be that Santana might dabble in the fine art of Nashville hot chicken one day). I love the steam that wafts from the sandwich at first bite — it’s a meal that just makes you feel better about life. And at $14, it’s cheaper than therapy. You’re so Golden!
Get clucked at 8250 NE Second Ave., Miami; 786-360-4237; offsite.miami.
Get Shucked at the Lazy Oyster
Eating oysters can sometimes feel like a game of Russian roulette — it’s all good until you get the one that takes you out. Oysters are amazing — you just have to get them at a place you trust — and even then be a wise consumer.
That’s why I love the Lazy Oyster. It might be counterintuitive to say that some of the freshest oysters in Miami come from a place with no real address, but hey — that’s what Miami is all about. Seriously, every oyster I’ve had from these guys has been exemplary. They’re fresh, plump, sweet, and shucked perfectly — no sand, no mush, no muss. Your oysters are presented on a bed of ice with mignonette and lemon but I just eat them as nature intended — no accoutrement necessary. The Lazy Oyster pops up at Smorgasburg weekly, along with other locations, so check their Instagram for more info. Shucking good!
Get shucked at Smorgasburg Miami, 2600 NW Second Avenue, Miami on weekends, and other locations. Follow them on Instagram for deets. @thelazyoyster
Ball & Chain Gets a 90 Day Cameo
Ball & Chain is one of Little Havana’s gems — a place known for its cocktails, music, and history. There’s nothing better than sipping a daiquiri as an impromptu group of musicians start playing while people stop everything and dance on the sidewalk. It’s Miami magic. So, make of this what you will — Ball & Chain is in a scene from 90 Day: The Single Life. In this scene we see 67-year-old Debbie looking for love again. This Georgia peach, in case you’re not familiar, went to Morocco to pursue her 24 year-old boyfriend. Somehow that didn’t work out. Now, she’s in Miami to get lucky with Reuben, a Miami man who apparently mugged the Partridge Family bus for his shirt. Watch Ruben climb a booth and Miss Debbie down a mojito here. Loca!
I’ve Been Through Hialeah With a Dog With No Name
Of course, this little chap had a name once. He’s 13 — he most likely had a home and a bed and toys and good food and some little sweaters and was loved.
But, sometimes people throw dogs away like trash. Maybe there was a new puppy. Maybe there was a baby. Maybe the humans moved. None of these scenarios are good and Little No Name deserved none of this.
I adopted a little white Chihuahua once upon a time. Her name was Roxie and her owner dropped her off at the shelter with a bag of clothes. The owner said she had a new puppy and just left little Roxie to die — literally. Roxie was scared and tried to bite and was placed on the euthanasia list. My friend Teri pulled her from the shelter with the help of a rescue and I adopted her. Roxie was nine and lived with me for seven years. I’d like to think she had a lucky seven years and that she was comfortable.
You can do the same for this little dog.
You can even name him anything you like — Herman, Chico, Snowball, Nimrod, Buddy the Elf — doesn’t matter. He’ll love you regardless. No Name’s ID number is A1296943 and he’s in the receiving kennel. No Name is about 13 and he’s a cream-colored Chihuahua so all you condo dwellers should take note of this pocket pet. By the way —old dogs are the best.
No Name is one of hundreds of dogs available at Miami-Dade Animal Services. If you’re looking to bring a new best friend into the family, this is the place to start your search. Adoptions are only done in person, and you should bring a current picture ID and proof of current address. Dogs older than four months carry a $65 adoption fee and puppies are $85 — all dogs come home fully vaccinated, are dewormed, and have been spayed/neutered. In other words, adopting a dog is the best deal in Miami. Name Him!
Oh — and good news people — my good friend (and fellow dog lover), Kevin Danilo of Batch Gastropub is now the sponsor of our dog adoption section. If you adopt one of these guys (or any dog because of Miami Checklist), he will supply you with a gift card for the amount of the adoption from MDAS. So get a dog, get a burger…or something like that. Contact me for details.
Name this little guy at Miami-Dade Animal Services. 3599 NW 79 Ave., Doral; 305-884-1101; miamidade.gov/animals
If you have an event or a story you’d like us to share, email lainedoss@gmail.com.
Sharing is caring — spread the word and help us grow!
Why not buy us a beer by subscribing to the Miami Checklist?